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unsoftendsAsexual Not sexually attracted to anyone. Bisexual (bi) Sexually attracted to more than one gender. Curious (bicurious) Not purely heterosexual or homosexual but sometimes curious about or open to sexual activity with the gender they are not normally attracted to. Heterosexual (straight) Sexually attracted to the opposite gender. Homosexual Sexually attracted to the same gender. Gay Same as homosexual – often used particularly to describe men who are attracted to other men. Lesbian Women who are attracted to other women. Pansexual (pan) Sexually attracted to people of any gender or sexual orientation. Queer It was used as an insult but now many LGBTQ+ people use it as a way to describe any sexuality without needing a specific label. Questioning Still exploring or unsure about their sexuality. *LGBTQ+ - Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning and others Some people identify strongly with a label like ‘gay’, while others don’t feel that any of these words fit their sexuality or don’t want to be labelled at all. When I come out to people, I don't like to brand myself a certain orientation. I want my freedom to learn, to grow, and to experiment. - Shalini Sexuality, sexual health, pregnancy and HIV If you’re ready to have sex or be sexually intimate with someone, you need to know how to prevent HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and unplanned pregnancies. Condoms are the best way to prevent against both pregnancy and STIs (including HIV). You can find out more about external (or male) condoms (which go on a penis or sex toy) or internal (or female) condoms (which go in a vagina or anus) on our safer sex pages. Education and information about sex often focuses on vaginal sex between a man and a woman but you might want to explore other forms of sex, such as oral and anal sex. Remember there are lots of ways to get sexual pleasure beyond penetrative sex, including kissing, touching, stroking, and exploring intimacy. Whatever sex acts you try and whoever you try them with, you need to trust each other and both give your consent. Sex will be more enjoyable if you have a shared understanding and you both feel ready and relaxed. Should I ‘come out’ to people? It’s up to you to decide. The idea of sex might excite you but you might also be confused or ashamed about your feelings, or afraid of other people’s reactions. It can be a good idea to take time to discover and enjoy your sexuality before you start talking to other people about it. When you are ready, you can ‘come out’ to people you trust and who care about you. As well as giving you love and support, they may be able to help you come to terms with your own feelings. It’s often better to start with one or two carefully chosen people, then you can decide if you want to tell more people and the best way to do it. I told my mum which was really hard, she was confused and had a [hard] time to begin with, we didn't talk until the next day and my sisters were disgusted with her because we were such a close family, but after she had thought about it she came to terms and we had a heart to heart and now we’re closer than ever. - Toby Some people are open about their sexuality with most people they know and hardly ever keep it a secret. This can feel liberating and make it easier to meet other people with similar lifestyles. On the other hand, you don’t have to be open with everyone. Many people prefer to only be ‘out’ to some people in their lives. Sadly, in certain parts of the world there are laws or cultural or social rules that make it difficult to be honest about your sexual orientation. So you should always think carefully about the potential benefits and risks of talking to someone before you say anything. What if I experience negative reactions, bullying or homophobia? Not everyone will react positively when they know about your sexuality. Some people are uncomfortable with anything that seems different or that they don’t understand. Give them time to get used to the idea and to understand you better. Unfortunately people can be rude or unkind. If someone tries to intimidate or bully you, you don't have to cope on your own. Get help or advice from supportive friends, family, someone in authority (like a teacher) or a support organisation. Discovering your true orientation is not easy, but having the freedom to experiment is a gift. To anyone I come out to, I'm willing to give them the time to adjust. Give them the same freedom. I wouldn't trade these feelings for anything else in the world. The excitement is actually not knowing – just learning is a big thrill and through experimentation you can learn a lot about yourself. - Shalini Getting support Meeting and talking to other people who have had similar experiences can really help when you’re coming to terms with your sexuality. You can look for LGBTQ+ support groups in your area, call a helpline or join an online support group. The websites below also have links to support organisations and helpful information. Useful LGBT support and information websites Planned Parenthood Childline LGBT Foundation Stonewall - Coming Out Stonewall - What’s In My Area? Ditch the label It gets better HELP US HELP OTHERS Avert.org is helping to prevent the spread of HIV and improve sexual health by giving people trusted, up-to date information. We provide all this for FREE, but it takes time and money to keep Avert.org going. Can you support us and protect our future? Every contribution helps, no matter how small. PLEASE DONATE NOW Photo credit: ©iStock.com/DusanManic Sources: Last updated:19 April 2021 Last full review:03 February 2020 Next full review:03 February 2023 Coronavirus (COVID-19) Learn the facts about COVID-19 and what it means for people living with HIV. Popular resources About Avert Our impact Why trust Avert? Support us Newsletters Young Voices Learn and share HIV timeline Contact us E: info@avert.org Contact us Tell your story PIF TICK Help us Help us empower people through knowledge and achieve a world that is free of HIV. Every £1 you donate to Avert, helps us achieve that vision. Donate Follow us Jobs Media Terms and conditions Creative Commons Privacy policy Sitemap Safeguarding policy All material on www.avert.org is copyright Avert (unless stated otherwise). All rights reserved. Registered UK charity number: 1074849. Registered UK company number: 3716796. 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